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Just a 52 year old lady trying to make it through life with all the joy and meaning i can experience.. Not asking for much eh?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Christmas in July

Being retired now I have alot of time to think about things....all day long. After over 35 years of working long hours and sometimes 2 and 3 jobs at the same time, I now have all the time in the world to contemplate...and contemplate...and so on. Sometimes its just weird the thoughts I have! But I take it as it comes and accept it for what it is..one memory at a time. Now one memory leads to another or reminds me of a time, place or object. So this post is about Christmas. When I was a kid, I never had the Christmas you saw on tv with the happy family eating dinner and then in the morning waking up to a pile of presents to open while still in your pajamas and then eating your pancake breakfast. We were poor, my mom did the best she could, but as a child it was always disappointing and sad. I would have just preferred we didn't celebrate at all, for more reasons than I will tell. So as a young adult I developed my hatred of the holiday and it has always been this way, always. Im sorry to tell all you Christmas lovers...but I hate Christmas. I always sucked it up and made a good Christmas for my children. I didn't think they should suffer because of my hatred of the day. So they always had a great Christmas and I always felt like a hypocrite. But now I have taken on a different way to deal with my feelings. I'm going to make Christmas a spiritual day for myself, therefore allowing myself the joy and happiness I feel, and to pass this on to my family and friends and enjoy the day. I will not think about the greediness, the materialism and all the stress that everyone puts themselves through...I will just be. I belong to a message board named the 123 cross stitch board and have been there since 1994. I have never signed up for any of the Christmas exchanges, just choosing to ignore them. But not this year, this year I signed up for a Christmas ornament exchange. I love cross stitch, I love being creative with cross stitch and I will make an ornament to make someone smile when they see it. That is what makes me feel joy! This decision has me remembering a tv show. Little House on the Prairie, the first episode was a Christmas episode. The three girls received a pair of red hand knit mittens, a drinking mug, a penny in their stocking, and a candy cane from a family friend. All three girls were thrilled and happy with just the gift of love they had received. At the end of the episode with the snow falling all around their small cabin they were enjoying each others company being so happy and Laura said, what a fine Christmas this is! Thats what I want my Christmas to be like. I received my ornament from a very nice lady named Cat in Pennsylvania. I love and adore anything hand made and so I hung it proudly under my wall candle holder with a red candle because I am going to celebrate this ornament for Christmas in July. Thank you Cat for the lovely ornament made by your own hand. It means the world to me to enjoy the feeling of Christmas in July. What a fine Christmas this has been. I hope you all enjoy the picture I took of the ornament. Merry Christmas in July!

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